Down and Dirty 30 – Day 5….

Thank you Pinterest

Thank you Pinterest

This post is going up a little late, but such is weekend life!

I am sitting here drinking my yummy juice reflecting on yesterday… I will simply say I am becoming intimately acquainted with how food is attached to my feelings at any given time. As well as ensuring that I am doing this journey for me and not trying to get somewhere or impress somebody or seek validation for something has been on my mind. I want to be clear that I am doing this for me, only me and not some external person, place or thing.

We had a pool party last week with all the people in the office and a bunch of the photos went up in our staff kitchen. I came around the corner, saw the pictures of myself and instantly wanted to rip each and every one of them down. Then I found myself getting irritated that no one asked if I was ok with having pictures of me up. Then I wanted to grab some chocolate or chips to make myself feel better. On my short walk to the bus stop to get home I realized how much of a mean, self centered, a**hole I was being and mostly to myself. So what if that is what I look like. So what if those pictures are there for the people in our office to see. So what, so what, so what, so what! I am choosing to use the pictures as motivation, because I will not stay there. I want to be able to look at a picture of myself and smile and be happy. I want to be able to have confidence when I know others are going to see me in a bathing suit. No one else’s opinion of me matters, only my own and that is the one that I have chosen to work on in this challenge.

I squeezed in just under my calorie target for the day. This bothered me a little bit because my goal was to not eat ALL of my calories earned during exercise, but it is week one and each week will improve!  I am starting to have to take all my reading and research on food choices and meal planning and use it in on the court action, it is a different experience, I still came in under that is the win! Sugar didn’t fair so well, going over my goal finishing at 110g, 3/5 days this week I have gone over.  Conscious eating is far different than unconscious eating.

Fitness happened thanks to the help of some of my co-workers. I was debating on going down to the gym in our building for cardio at lunch or after work, so I let me co-workers decided and off I went over lunch. I am so thankful I did because going to the gym Friday afternoon after work, not the best idea. I am struggling to hit my goal of 10,000 steps a day given how much I sit at a desk for my job, 2/5 days so far this week. My goals for the coming week, to tackle this struggle, are 3/6 days over 10,000 steps and the remaining 3 days over 8,000 steps!

I am so excited for my cheat meal tonight! I already know what I am having 🙂

Day 5 - Friday

Day 5 – Friday

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