With it being a new year, you can’t help but be a little introspective. Over the weekend I was with the bff and we were talking about where I was at with this coming year, what were my “resolutions”? There was only one word that kept popping into my mind. LIVE.
I went through some massive amounts of change in the beginning of 2014. Change is not something that any human deals well with, but when I look back this change didn’t kill me, it made me stronger brought me to some really great places.
I left a comfortable well-paying job with nothing lined up and I am now working in one of the most fun and rewarding offices in Vancouver with an amazing team that support and train each other. I have a boss that I learn from every day and takes time to care about her team members and their lives. I faced some health concerns that raised my stress levels beyond normal levels, but refused to stop till I found answers, and I have. I made it through the first year without my father. This has helped me grow as an individual and each day I gain faith and trust that no matter what the universe throws at me, I will survive, but that was the difference.
I no longer want to just survive, I want to live! Through our conversation here is what I discovered for myself. Surviving is waking up each morning, going to work, paying your bills, go on vacation, finding a person to marry and then passing on. That is a perfect life for some, but not for me. I have a good life, family, job, friends….but I want more. I want to live. I want to take risks, not know how something is going to play out. I no longer want to worry about being safe and secure. I am safe and secure in my knowledge that my friends and family will always be there to support me, no matter what happens, so this year I want to live. I want to face fears and tell them to “eff” off. I want to do things that I would never think of doing especially when that little voice says “nope, run, turn, hide, danger.” It is in these moments, that life happens and some of the greatest rewards present themselves. You get the career that you are excited about, you meet a person that alters the course of your life and you go to sleep at night with the thought of “Let’s do that again tomorrow.”
No I am not crazy, high or on any sorts of drugs, I just wanted to use up every ounce of life I am given. Tired of worrying about what people think of me and letting my fear of failing control what I do or don’t do. Let me be clear, I am not going to be irresponsible, cause harm to myself or others, but I took risks last year and survived and grew as a result. As afraid as I was I didn’t die! So more of that!
I want to travel, take kickboxing, run races, inspire others and as the quote says above arrive at the pearly gates with windblown hair going “Sweet ride.” I want to do one thing each day that scares me, the pushes me forward, pushes me to grow and live.