Yesterday I was home from work not feeling terribly well, battling yet another cold. Later in the afternoon I headed off to see my Doctor for the second time this week. After confirming that I have a run of the mill cold that will probably get worse before it gets better and should stay in bed he thought it would be great to continue our conversation from Monday regarding my weight and my weight loss goals. I was asked to step on the scale….
You know those lies you tell yourself? “I am ok, all my pants still fit” but you ignore that muffin top that is starting to form. You ignore that fact that your closet is becoming increasingly more divided between “What fits now” and “What will fit again really soon.” Or you tell yourself “I’ve been good today, this one treat will be ok” only to discover that if you sat down and wrote it out you have had a treat every day for the last 2 weeks. You come up with all these ways to make yourself feel better and ignore the facts that are right in front of you. Stepping on a scale forces you to acknowledge all those lies you have told yourself and it was worse than I thought.
I did everything I could to keep it together, but the fact was tears were right there the minute I walked through my front door. The difference this time was that although I was crying I was apologizing to myself at the same time. I had one sentence going over and over in my head “I am sorry I have lied and I am sorry I have done this.” I told myself I had the afternoon to throw my pity party, but that was it.
What lies have you been telling yourself to cope with changes in your life that you don’t want to acknowledge? Are you ready to apologize and do something about it?