Down & Dirty 30 – Day 9

Fitness-MotivationWarning….failure struggle alert!

Yesterday started out with the best of intentions, but with a major change for myself approaching and an injury….old habits won yesterday! I can’t quite share what the change is just yet, but probably by Friday. I intended on going for a deliciously long walk yesterday after work to help deal with some stress and anxiety I have been experiencing about this approaching change. Throughout the day my left knee had been bugging me, not able to fully straighten it while standing. Feeling like I may have been being a bit of a baby I attempted to start the walk, but didn’t get terribly far before having to sit down on a bench and acknowledge that this may be a bit more than “Nikki being a baby.”

I did a wee bit of binge eating last night. No where close to what I have previously known myself to do. I made a phone call to my mom to talk about some of the anxiety and stress and feeling much better I threw out the rest of the contraband that was still sitting on my table. Happy I did it….no. Happy I caught myself and tried to come up with an alternate solution……absolutely.  I then had to deal with the horrible stomach ache and headache that started about an hour later. Clear evidence that my body can no longer handle it….

I know that expecting to be 100% accurate through this journey is unrealistic and if anyone is expecting me to be…well I hope you are 100% accurate in your life before judging me. I had the thought that I wasn’t even going to post today, that I was just going to hide it and not acknowledge it, but that promotes shame, which promotes the behavior and I ain’t down with that. *insert my black sista friend, Nikita, here snapping her fingers*

My knee requires a day or 2 to rest, which I will give it. I have done some stretching as well as icing it and using this amazing stuff I call my Chinese Medicine tape. I can not read what it says on the can, but it is terribly sticky tape that is covering in herbs and stuff that smells about 100 times worse than Tiger Balm, but it works like a hot damn! I am also going to look at switching up my exercising and perhaps add in some pool activities to ease the pressure…all things I will consult my trainers and doctors on!

Ok….now I am rambling with a “to do” list a mile long today!

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