This is one of those posts that I have written, deleted, re-written, edited about 100 times since Sunday (you will see the date stamp in the photo). I am making a request as you read this post. Do not shame me, keep your opinions to yourself and if you have that little voice inside your head shouting opinions and comments, please keep them inside your head. Don’t be a troll…move along.
I have carried a lot of shame and attachment around the number that I weigh. There is 2 people in the universe that know “roughly” what my number is, but not the exact number. One of my favorite TV shows premiered last night for it’s 5th season, Extreme Weight Loss. I love this show for a mountain of reasons and if you don’t watch it, start. To start the journey they always weigh in, no shirts and shorts, sports bra only for the ladies. This weigh in takes place in front of their friends, family or a crowd of some sort. This has always made me uncomfortable and last night I was very present to the shame about my number and I drew a line in the sand and decided no more!
336. When you look at me do you see the number 336? No? Well, that’s how much I weigh. The reason why I want you to all see that number is because I want you all to see that that number no longer has a hold on me. I know that I have caused this number and all the struggles that it has brought. I am strong and will be victorious over this number. I am not a number on a scale. I am a woman, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a best friend and a fighter!
Want to see more numbers?
Chest: 47” / Waist: 49” / Hips: 60” (thank you genetics) / R. Thigh: 34” / R. Calf: 19 ¾”
They are just numbers. They no longer define who I am, where I am going or what I am capable of. If you don’t like my numbers, that is fine, you have your own set of numbers, look at those ones instead.
I will no longer live inside of shame. I am going to take pride in my body and all that it is capable of. I am going to embrace my body of the glory and wonder that it has allowed me to experience. Now I am going to treat it with respect and start loving it the way it deserves to be loved.