I would like to say that this is going to be a bright and cheerful update, but the truth of the matter is I am a bit closed off and indifferent at the moment…
So…you may have been asking yourself “Where is Nikki?” or “What happened to Nikki?”
Fear not! I am here, but have been going through a challenging time…
The short version is that I have been getting hardcore schooled in the lessons of…
- People will do or say whatever they want to get what they want from you/people will lie.
- Trust no one.
- Having my blog being used as a weapon against me for some people to cover their behinds
I have always been someone that truly wears her heart on her sleeve. I will tell you exactly how I am feeling and I know that, like most people in my family, I lean more towards the “emotional/sensitive” side of the spectrum.
I believe that life always shows you the lessons you need to learn and this has been a difficult one to learn. I got a taste of this one a few years back, but it is funny how it pops up on different levels as you move through phases of life.
What I have noticed through this process, good or bad, I am communicating. There have been times where eating has won, but I did start talking afterwards. I know that this probably all sounds a bit cryptic, I am quite guarded at the moment because of #3.
It is a strange feeling when you have always been someone who is so open, willing to help others, and giving, but when the world hands you a giant heaping of “trust no one” and you can feel yourself shutting down. I know that people go through this in different extremes during life. I know that these past couple months have changed who I am in my core, I am just trying to sort out where to go from here…
Stay tuned….