Update TIME!!!!!!

IMG_20151025_091113So I have decided to make a few changes, switching up my approach!

I am still very much focusing on my health, taking it one day at a time. Everything from my Flab-u-less challenge still very much stands true, but if I am honest…..the stress of having to write and post everyday….Oi! I never want this blog to feel like a chore, become to routine, or…..I’m just gonna say the word jumping through my brain…BORING!

I had an awesome week last week, it was met with some mental challenges, but that is par for the course when you are kicking ass, taking names, and changing habits. I hit my 10K step goal everyday last week. On Saturday I cleaned up with steps, as I was out in the valley exploring Chilliwack and the beautiful fall surroundings. A walk around Cultus Lake and then the adventures of a corn maze,which we did get quite turned around in! Being outside and exploring is one of my absolute favorite activities. I will always pick outside to being inside and in water vs. dry land! Hands down!

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Cultus Lake

Sunday morning I woke up a bit nervous to step on the scale. I have this nasty habit of over thinking things…those of you that know me, are nodding furiously right now. I always default to worst case scenario and I was happily met with a surprise. I LOST 5.4lbs LAST WEEK! I must have stepped on and off that scale another 6 or 7 times because of course the scale was lying to me. Then I just decided to accept and celebrate it! I am slowly getting over the mental hurtle of “I have to do it PERFECTLY for it to count.” Perfectionism is one of my biggest enemies and something I struggle with daily. Slowly, by surly.

This week my goal is to simply do better than last week. Better eating habits, no lost battles with a bag of snapcrisps. I am going to continue to improve my water intake because quite frankly….although it is better I still have some work to do. I was doing awesome in the exercise department for the first half of the week, but towards the end of the week I got a bit lazy with the time at the gym. I don’t want to just rely on cardio, weight training is something I would really like to focus on. My other big goal this week….sleep. I am going to make a conscious effort to get 7-8 hours a night. Last week I averaged 5-6 and it just is not working….the ramifications of this is just to great and not worth it. Water and sleep this week!

 

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Flab-u-less: Day 4

2015-10-23 10.01.16Yesterday was another evening for growth and opportunity!

I was provided with the last minute gift of attending the Canucks game last night, so it was a mad dash home to change, grab the bestie and off to the arena! On the way to the arena, my tummy was grumbling and I had a minor panic attack about my options for food at the arena. As we made our way to the seats the bestie spot a little cart that was sporting some healthier options and I took a sigh of relief. I was a bit shocked to see the cart with healthier options. She was tucked away in the corner and with every other food window open, with a sizeable lineup, she was quite delighted when we walked up.  I still went over a bit, but it was no where near as bad as it could have been! Yesterday was a far better day in the eating department vs the day before. I have to keep reminding myself that life happens and there are choices to be made. It isn’t about perfection, but progress.

Naturally the time at the gym was quickly thrown out the window, but I was still determined to get my 10K steps in and2015-10-22 23.03.47_resized I did!

It is 5am on Friday morning as I type this before dashing out the door to go visit a client in Richmond. In my history of personal 30 day challenges, the first week has always been the easiest. The one time during the challenge that I don’t have to worry about commitment, dedication or the mental struggles….not so much this time around. This time around it has been the polar opposite. I woke up completely inspired by starting this challenge with the mindset of I am going to nail the first week, but this week….I am being tested left, right and centre. I am happy that I have not caved, given up or thrown in the towel. Perhaps that is the lesson for me right now….progress, not perfection. I did not gain this weight overnight and I will not lose it in the first week. As long as everything is going in the right direction and I plan success will be mine!

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Flab-u-less: Day 3….

PhotoGrid_1445528841351_resizedIf I am honest I don’t even wanna write this post today! I am going to chalk day 3 up to one of frustration and growth.

Eating was not my friend yesterday. I will acknowledge that I didn’t binge eat or eat anything particularly unhealthy, but I did not plan accordingly. I first new I was going to go way over my food at lunch, when I decided to eat one of my favorite salads. Normally I through out the dressing they provide and use my own, but I forgot that in the fridge at home…so I had to use the dressing inside. I did not use the whole package, but….by the time I got home from the gym I had almost no calories left and I was STARVING, so I had a protein shake and then lost a battle with a bag of those Snapea Crisps things….I was honest and plunked everything into MyFitnessPal, but…“when you fail to plan, you plan to fail” was my theme for yesterday.

Exercise….I was like a 2 year old who’s blankie had been taken away. At least….that is what the guy who works at the gym I go to, said I looked like when I was on the elliptical yesterday. My day was stupid busy yesterday, so I didn’t get a real lunch, so I didn’t have time to look over some exercises, so when I arrived I was tired, didn’t want to work out, but I said I would. I got finished with the elliptical and popped over to the treadmill, but after 10mins I wanted to go home! So I got in 45 minutes at the gym. My heart was not in it, but I got it done.

What did I learn from yesterday? The biggest relationship I need to focus on at the moment, is the one between my word and me. I went when I didn’t want to. I could have easily just said “Screw the day” when I knew I was going to go over my calories, but I didn’t. I am a huge fan of Chris & Heidi Powell, they do that TV Show Extreme Weight Loss and the #1 on thing they tell everyone is the relationship between yourself and your word to yourself is the most important thing when building the foundation of to a healthy life. I will skip a workout, go out for dinner if someone asks doesn’t matter I will throw out my “me time” if someone asks and I need to get better at not.

Today I have planned WAY BETTER. I had some tv shows loaded onto my tablet and some exercises planned out. Bring on Day 4!

Flab-u-less: Day 2

Stats from Day 2

Stats from Day 2

I find myself a bit annoyed this morning, so I apologize if there are parts of this post that seem a bit….ranty. Social media is pushing my buttons, the election this week has my hot under the color and I got 7 hours of sleep last night (an hour more than normal), yet feel like I could sleep for 7 more.

I had a great day yesterday on the exercise front! I jumped onto the elliptical and it was 30 minutes of pure hell and I had to do everything I could to distract myself to stay on that machine for the full 30 minutes. Then I was off for some upper body and core. This is where I got annoyed. I have relied a lot on my trainers to tell me what to do; then when I am on my own it is like all that has been erased from my brain. My goal is to spend some time on the Google coming up with some exercises for the different muscle groups so that I am not “winging it” and forgetting a major muscle or something like that. I don’t want to flounder my way through this. When I was getting ready to leave the gym last night I looked at my Fitbit and it read 8700 steps. I had the thought that by the time I got home I would clear 10K….then…the yellow caution flag was waving in my brain. Instead, I climb on the treadmill and did a bit of walking and hopped off at 10,002 quite pleased with myself. I could hear The Rock (Dwayne Johnson) in my head “Finish like a champion!” Damn you social media and me following him on Instagram!

Food-wise, I got a bit frustrated with myself yesterday. I went over my sugar intake, finishing at 109g with a goal of 80g. I need to cut back on my fruit intake…..way back. I could easily like on nothing by fruit and be perfectly happy, but I know it is high in sugar. Yes, I am aware it is not refined sugar, it is processed in the body differently, but when it boils down it is still sugar. I got home at close to 8pm last night starving and exhausted. I managed to piece together dinner and my lunch for today, but I know myself….I need to do some cooking tonight or I am going to be on a slippery slope the remainder of the week and I do not want to be there.

I am not a very political person. Politics and religion are the two topics I tend to stay away from because the conversations rarely end well. The amount of trash talking, bashing and shaming going on around this election makes me sick to my stomach. You tell someone how you voted and you are either instantly embraced or shamed because that person didn’t agree with how you chose to exercise your voice. Now, the people feel the need to discuss how hot our new Prime Minister is….how about we let him run the country and focus a little less on what he looks like with his shirt off. Normally, I can let all of this go and scroll past it, but, for some reason, I am feeling exceptionally sensitive to it today! lol!

I read this status update by Fiona Hook on Facebook and it rang so true for me…

“So the election is over. They are busy counting votes. Maybe you voted for who won…maybe you didn’t. But tomorrow, no matter who our prime minister is or isn’t, it is us who make Canada a great country. If you want to make it a better place then be a better person. Help your elderly neighbour with their yard work. Grow a garden. Don’t get yourself into credit card debt. Save for a house. Take care of your own health. Skip the fast food. Learn to cook. Read some good books. Pick up litter. Donate to the less fortunate. Smile at people who pass you in the streets. Write letters. Snuggle your kids, spouse, dog. Volunteer. Shop local. Take your dog for a walk. Be nice to people. Lets not count on one person…lets count on all of us <3″

 

Flab-u-less: Day 1

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Clairebear & I post ZUMBA fitness with our rosey cheeks, before we were booted from the studio for a Yoga class

Yesterday was an up and down thrill ride that I made into my b*tch!

I arrived at work to find cookies, Lemon Raspberry Trifle, wine, a chocolate stash in my drawer (from the week before) and Tootsie Pop suckers. Honestly! I am not going to lie, I hovered around the cookies, I had a bit of a staring contest with the trifle. The thought of “One cookie/one piece of chocolate/one scoop of trifle…won’t hurt.” “I can have a little taste”. That was when the warning bells went off in my brain and I was happy! First, I heard the warning bells! Second, “one” has never proven very effective for me. There is plenty of research out there that supports the addiction to sugar is as equally as bad as an addiction to heroin or cocaine. So I am determined to kick the addiction! Even when I got off the train last night, waiting for the bus, I saw the little corner store and thought “Mmmm wine gums.” I found it interesting how quickly your brain processes. I left the line, walked across the street, pulled a walking U-turn and returned to the line up. The man I was previously standing in front of invited me back to my spot, smiled and said “I should have down that” and held up his A&W bag. I smiled and said “Throw it out. If you really don’t want it, throw it out. Would the sting of throwing that money away help?” He gave me the most perplexed look, walked over to the garbage can and tossed it all in. He was quit a fit man, clearly has spent some time in the gym and I found myself realizing, fit or fat, we all have battles. Yesterday, I won my battle, despite the “food bumps” thrown in my path.

My exercise came in the form of ZUMBA yesterday with 2 of my favoritest people in the world! My friend Sabrina and I have been taking classes for a couple weeks now, mostly we laugh and joke about how “white girls can’t dance,” but we sweat our behinds off and have a good laugh and last night my dearest friend Clairebear joined us. Yes, that is officially her name as decided by me. I haven’t seen her in over a year and a half since she decided to travel the world with her beau. Exercise really is so much more fun when you get to laugh, bootie shake and sweat with friends. My steps just passed 17,000. I missed my water intake my 10oz! Here is how I know I need to drink more water….I drank all that water yesterday and I went to the bathroom the same amount as if I hadn’t.

This morning I woke up at 5am and turned on my morning playlist and was reflecting on yesterday and what I was PhotoGrid_1445351910472_resizedgoing to write about and that is when I knew that there was something I needed to do first….

I haven’t stepped on the scale since the final day of my successful Sexy In My Skivvies 30 day challenge. In my head I had put on AT LEAST 10lbs. I needed to step on the scale and own the number that showed up. Not be afraid of it, or scared, or worried. Own it so I know where I am starting from. I probably climbed on and off that sucker 6 times because I was in COMPLETE disbelief about the number. I have only put on .8lbs since my last weigh in. NOT EVEN A FULL POUND. I briefly went down the path of my scale is a big fat liar, but quickly realized it is always worse in our heads than reality. I feel more motivated and even more determined for this challenge.

 

 

Flab-u-less…

134ba82bb00ad2f1d18e184dd356c8eaI woke up this morning, began my normal morning dance party while I got ready and was contemplating the days since my last post and decided…enough is enough! Today is the day! I am embarking on another 30 day challenge! I should have known it would happen, I woke up to the Foo Fighters followed by The Beastie Boys, only great things can happen when you wake up to that. The reality quickly set in that with this sudden inspiration I had no proper lunch packed, but my gym clothes were ready because tonight is ZUMBA! Sometimes, I wish the inspiration stick hit me at a time I could more appropriately plan, but I am gonna run with it!

I had been toying with what to name this for a few days now, so as you can see from the title….Flab-u-less has been born! Here is what this challenge will entail…

  1. 60 minutes of exercise a day (gym, cardio, weights, zumba, etc) 60 minutes of continues movement! E.V.E.R.Y.D.A.Y!
  2. 10K steps on the ol’ fitbit
  3. I have gotten a bit loosey goosey on some of the food sensitivities – no eggs, dairy, almonds, pineapple or mustard
  4. By the end of this challenge refined sugar will no longer have a place in my eating
  5. WATER! I do not drink anywhere near enough so I am committing to 84oz a day minimum during this challenge
  6. No pop, chips, candy, pizza, or foods that I classify as my trigger/comfort foods.

I also reserve the right to add to this at a later post because honestly, this all came at me this morning!

So…

Let’s….

GO!!!!

 

 

 

The Ugly Cry…

2015-10-15 22.22.17_resizedI am not entirely certain where to start with what is going on at the moment….

I have noted that something has been off with me since about early August, but I could never quite put my finger on it, so I just did the best I could to live my life ignoring the signs. Funny thing…when you ignore the signs the universe has a funny way of making them bigger and louder. Like one of those signs that lines the strip in Vegas…

Since early August I have been in the middle of a storm with work. It has probably been one of the toughest professional storms that I have ever been through, and it has brought up a lot of stuff for me personally. The great part is that it is all starting to work out at work. Conversations are being had, truths are coming out and the wounds are being healed. YAY! During this time I thought it would be a great idea to pick up Brene Brown’s new book Rising Strong. Yeah, I know…if you’ve been following me for some time, my history with Brene’s books is not that great because she sticks a knife right in and shoves it good and deep. Well, this time was no different, I read one sentence and I knew I was working on perfecting my art of “ignoring reality.”

“…hiding out, pretending and armoring up against life is killing us: killing out spirits, our hopes, our potential, our creativity, our ability to lead, our love, our faith and our joy”

My first thought was food is my armour. It is my way of shutting the world out and silencing what I have been ignoring. Food is my protection from the truth. I have been wafting in and out of protection mode a lot since August. Here is the other thing Brene said that really dug the knife in good and deep.

“Once we fall in the service of being brave, we can never go back. Courage transforms our emotional structure of our being”

My successful 30 day challenge changed me. It showed me what I was capable of and it changed who I am at the core. For the first time all those little voices that told me “You can’t” were quiet.  I was happier, kicking ass, taking names, and living my life. Then the stuff at work started to creep in and I started to doubt and the downhill slide began, but occasionally I would surprise myself and stick my neck out and then go back into my shell, come out, go back into my shell. For a few weeks I have been in my shell, then tonight happened.

I was minding my own business checking out of reality with the TV show Nashville, binge watching (and eating) curiosity2-250x374Season 1 on Netflix. The character Juliette Barns made a comment about being alone, people always want something from you and then it happened… That pile of Kleenex is the result. It was an ugly cry…ladies…you know what I am talking about….that ugly cry where you have no conceivable explanation as to how your body could produce all that fluid, mascara stains all the way down your cheeks ugly.

The result….as I type this it is currently 2:03am and I would love to give you all of the details, but no one likes to read a blog post that long, including me. So here is the point form version….

  1. I trust no one, everyone will lie to get what they want and then leave. Yes everyone…my friends, my family, men…no one is immune. Food has been my only constant, it is all I have. This lie and belief I have wont go away overnight but there are conversations to have with people in my life to apologize.
  2. I am perfectly perfect. How I look, who I am… all 5’7, 300lbs of awkward me….is perfect. I have nothing to hide or be ashamed of.

People love a good underdog story. Everyone loves to see the underdog come back and celebrate the victory, but no one likes to see the mess in the middle. No one likes to look at you when you are lying face down in the middle of the arena, covered in mud, trying to navigate your way out of the mud and the muck you create. People only want to read and be a part of the celebration, once you have risen. This is my journey and there will always be people in the seats telling me how to do it, and chirping their opinions… the cheap seats. I am walking into my story. I am acknowledging emotions and getting curious about them and how they connect to how I think and behave and then I am going to rumble with it. I am going to continue to get honest, I am going to share my struggle and challenge my behaviour and ways of thinking…then….I am going to write a new ending to my story.

First…I am going to finish this book which I recommend.

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