I have spent a great deal of time observing, reflecting and pondering since my last post. Writing for me is therapeutic and I have come to realize that if I am going through it, then so is someone else, so I thought I would turn this into a bit of a series. I received quite a few responses to my last post and want to thank you for making me feel a little less crazy!
The one thing that keeps jumping out to me over the last couple days is….I am going to call them habits. I have these things that I do that are counter productive to what my soul needs right now. Allow me to list a few….I am FAR to attached to my phone and social media. This is not good for my mental health. I do way to much binge watching on Netflix. My current show is Friday Night Lights….if you haven’t watched it….two words…Tim Riggins….I need a moment…ok focus Nikki! I have noticed that I have started to replace shopping for over eating. I spend to much time by myself with my own thoughts, inside my head. We all have that little voice inside our head and when I spend to much time up there I compare it to a walk through a bad neighborhood. I can talk myself into and out of almost anything and it never shuts up. It will play both sides of the fence like two rival gangs having a turf war. As I shared in my last post I have been reading The Untethered Soul and here is a little exert
“You will come to see that the mind talks all the time because you gave it a job to do. You use it as a protection mechanism, a form of defense. Ultimately, it makes you feel more secure…you buffer yourself from life, instead of living it…”
It is OK if that felt like a fire hot poker going through you, it did for me when I read the first chapter of this book! The list of these little habits of mine could go on forever. What do these all things have in common? They all allow me to check out, not be responsible and avoid living life.
It would be really easy for me to sit here and say “NO MORE! AS OF TODAY I PROMISE…” but….been there, done that. I don’t want to promise that because past experience has taught me that is setting myself up to fail. I think for the next week the goal is to simply catch myself when I am doing it. When I catch myself checking my phone every 5 minutes, it goes into a drawer or another room and I am not allowed to touch it for 1 hour. I can binge watch my tv show a couple nights a week, the other nights are reserved for soul feeding activities like WRITING POSTS and reading. I have so many freaking amazing books I want to read…whole book shelf…full of them! One thing I am drawing a line on is the shopping. No more shopping because I am buying based on want, not on need. Lastly, I will be registering for a class in the new year and it will be around nutrition or writing, one of those 2 things. My goal here is baby steps. To begin to catch myself when the counter productive habits are ruling the nest and to interrupt the pattern.
What habits do you want to notice and interrupt along with me?