Tired….that is the only word that I can use to describe myself right now. I know it is going to take my body some getting used to with these 5AM wake up calls, but holy moly…I just wanna climb into bed and sleep. Then I remembered that I owe you peeps a post!
I have a small confession….Saturday and Sunday were not spent completely off the wagon, more of a holding onto the reins as the wagon spins mildly out of control. Ok, yes I realize that that analogy is somewhere between a wagon, horses and a car. Wagons don’t drive themselves…oh bugger, nevermind, if you can’t sort that one out on your own you need sleep like I do.
Saturday was met with some fries for lunch, because someone didn’t pack a snack for her short shift at work. Saturday evening was met with Tacos and a margarita with one of the girls from work. In our haste to leave work and eat Tacos I left my runners at work. Sunday then involved a pair of very old runners that caused a really bad blister on my left heal… oh, and it also involved eating pizza. Refusing to skip the gym I took those old runners and headed to the gym yesterday morning were I absolutely crushed a cardio/weight session! It was an amazing feeling to accomplish that so early in the morning. I was quite proud of myself. I have a lot of work to do on my push ups and I still hate burpees with a fiery red passion, but I did it!
Here is what I got from the weekend. Excess weight is typically driven by an avoidance of dealing with an emotional issue or feelings, when you begin to process and peel back the layers to those issues and feelings you are left with the genuine choice of ” Do I want to eat that?” “Do I enjoy eating that?” “Does it taste good?” Did I eat perfect, no. However, for the first time I made the conscious choice to eat those foods. I didn’t eat them to stuff an emotion or avoid a feeling, which is absolutely what previously drove my eating habits. As I work on my mental game and peel back the layers of why I eat it is giving me the strength and drive to make conscious informed choices when I am presented with those foods. For the record I no longer enjoy fries, they are really quite gross, but tacos and pizza….yup those are keepers for sure!
This week I am going to add another gym session, bringing it to 4 this week with a good mixture of cardio and weight training. I have prepped all my protein sources for the week and meals, up until Thursday. I am feeling strong and looking forward to what this week will bring, who knows maybe I will actually complete a box jump this week…maybe…
This is my “meh” face, taken Friday after the gym
It is Saturday morning…pouring rain in Vancouver….and I decided to step on the scale. Not a number I was hoping to see, but if I am honest, it has been some time since I have stepped on a scale. It is higher than the last time and I am struggling to not pick up the proverbial mental bat. It very well could be smaller than last week, but I don’t know because I have been avoiding the scale…..hmmm need to sit with this one for a minute.
Ok….so I haven’t been doing all this work on my mental game to let a number dictate how awesome I felt this week. It isn’t about watching the number go down on a scale this time. It is about making better choices and eating mindfully. It is about moving more and getting to the gym because it is something I really enjoy doing. It is about building a relationship with my mind, body and soul. The number on the scale is only one tool to gauge how well I am doing that, not the only tool. You can read a billion and one articles and I am simply going to summarize with this…..that number does not define me or who I am. It does not define what I accomplished this week. Here is what I did kick ass at this week…
- After not having been to the gym in a couple months, I went 3 times… IN THE MORNING. I left each time with a sense of accomplishment
- I hit 10K on the ol’ Fitbit EVERY day this week and I haven’t done that IN MONTHS!
- I ate mindfully everyday this week. I was 100% conscious to every piece of food that went into my mouth. I made smart decisions. I made 90% good choices with 10% fun choices. Over the last couple months it has been a lot more of the fun choices than the good choices…LOL!
I have said this before and I will say it again….I am also not the first once to rip off this phrase….this is a marathon, not a sprint. Habits, patterns, and goals take time to develop and achieve. I am investing a lot in the mental game this time around to have a number take me off track.
Time to crush the weekend!
Thursday’s walk with the bestie…we killed the 10K step goal after a healthy yummy vegan dinner 🙂
Shameless gym shower selfie after a hard cardio & core session yesterday
So….normally I type my posts the night before…however when I arrived home last night I was a new level of tired. I was in bed and asleep by 9:45. I woke up this morning and my body was all kinds of sore and the minute I attempted to role over in bed my abs were having no part of it! So I had a conversation with myself. Should I a.) push through the soreness and mild lower back pain, not write a post today and go to the gym for my planned workout or b.) listen to my body get up, write a post, do some really good stretching and convince the bff that is coming over for dinner tonight to go for a walk….I chose b….which you probably gathered as you are currently reading a post!
It was a tough decision because part of me doesn’t want to lose momentum and is really enjoying my morning workouts, but the other part of me has to remember that I haven’t moved my body like this in some time, so I need to listen to my bodies signals to avoid injury, which would take me out for a longer period of time. I have some pretty temperamental hip muscles which can send my lower back into spasm quite easily. As I try to strengthen those muscles to avoid this from happening I don’t want to cause them to spasm by not listening to my body. Oh, and the bff was texted (yes, she gets up early too…FYI it is 5:45am as I type this) and we are walking this evening pending a rain storm…..
What I lug from home, gym,work and home on gym days…call me bag lady 😉
The mental game of weight loss is a tough one because for 95% of people with weight issues it is a mental issue that has the weight present on the body. I have been doing work recently on the mental side of this game. This morning I had to utilize a couple “tools” to have the conversation with myself that didn’t involve beating myself up with a “mental bat” for not going to the gym and being a “big baby” with some muscle soreness and trusting my body’s signals to rest. We all have that voice in our head that chimes in with opinions and comments that is difficult to silence. There was a part of me last night that thought that this was going to happen this morning because the muscle soreness and lower back was already setting in, but I still packed for the gym and promised myself I would check in in the morning, so here we are!
I am off to do a bit more stretching and get ready for the day, but going to leave you with a pretty cute video to make you giggle…mildly
The universe was testing my will yesterday morning! I slept through one alarm, rushed out of the house and then, in an effort to save myself 10 mins, I hopped on the skytrain where I sat….between stations….for 30 mins. Feeling a bit defeated I was tempted to turn around and go home, but instead I decided to come up with a plan B. I had planned on doing 45 mins of cardio and then a killer core workout, but as my time on the skytrain ticked on, I had to remove something, so the core workout got the axe.
I am not gonna lie…working out in the morning gives me this sense of satisfaction. It is done, off my plate and I don’t have to think about my workout for the remainder of the day. I get to come after work and relax, prep for the next day, maybe watch a tv show, write a post….kinda love it!
I spend a majority of today trying to come up with a whitty name, set some goals for this challenge I laid down yesterday…. and the bottom lines is ….I just want to get out of bed every morning, crush my workouts, eat healthy and mindfully, accomplish some things I have never done before, go on some adventures, explore and create some memories. No pressure, no shame, no sabotage just doing what I said I would and repairing the relationship with my body. The only promise I want to make is to myself that starting with these 30 days my relationship with my mind and my body is more important than anything else. Without this healthy relationship I am unable to support and give back to others when my tank is on empty.
With the recent passing of Muhammad Ali, he had this one line that I have been hearing over and over again in my head this week “I’m gonna show you how great I am.” Living for a great life, not just any life. So….I am going to write everyday for the next 30 days as a way to stay accountable, it will mostly be health and fitness related, but there will also be some other little yummy tidbits thrown in!
Hiked Rattlesnake Point…kind of an epic view!
Well hello there party peeps….yes, it has been some time. Life has definitely been…”life”ing!
There has been a lot going on over the last few months and I needed to take a step away. I needed to take a few deep breathes, some personal time and sort things out for myself. It hasn’t been easy, there have been tears, moments of self discovery and tapping into a level of strength that I didn’t know I had. I feel as if my eyes are starting to open for the first time, the blinders are coming off and I am standing up for myself, what I believe in and what I want. Now, those that know me are probably thinking…”Hmmm the Nikki I know isn’t much of a wallflower or doormat.” Let me just say, what you see on the outside is very different from what is going on on the inside. I have debated if I was even going to continue this blog…my domain name came up for renewal last week and I had to sit down and give it some thought and when I dug deep, I miss the writing…it is therapeutic and it helps me so….for purely selfish reasons ya’ll are stuck with me, my bad grammar, crappy punctuation, and poor English skills!
With that said I am kicking off my return with another 30 day challenge. Don’t ask me the name, because I literally just decided that as I was sitting here typing this, so by tomorrow’s post I will have the name and the details! Here is what I know so far….
- I have started a new job that has very different hours from my old, so my workouts now have switched to mornings….let me tell you I am NOT a morning person, but I am going to make the necessary adjustments, because the whole not going to the gym is not an option
- It is summer time and I have made a list of summertime activities that I am going to explore – some of these activities are solo for a reason and some of them I am very welcoming of friends and family to join. I will provide the list in a post this week!
My goal for this 30 day challenge is health and fitness….getting back in the groove, feeding my soul and for one of the first times in my life, doing things for me because I want to!
Stay tuned for all the details….
So I have decided to make a few changes, switching up my approach!
I am still very much focusing on my health, taking it one day at a time. Everything from my Flab-u-less challenge still very much stands true, but if I am honest…..the stress of having to write and post everyday….Oi! I never want this blog to feel like a chore, become to routine, or…..I’m just gonna say the word jumping through my brain…BORING!
I had an awesome week last week, it was met with some mental challenges, but that is par for the course when you are kicking ass, taking names, and changing habits. I hit my 10K step goal everyday last week. On Saturday I cleaned up with steps, as I was out in the valley exploring Chilliwack and the beautiful fall surroundings. A walk around Cultus Lake and then the adventures of a corn maze,which we did get quite turned around in! Being outside and exploring is one of my absolute favorite activities. I will always pick outside to being inside and in water vs. dry land! Hands down!
Sunday morning I woke up a bit nervous to step on the scale. I have this nasty habit of over thinking things…those of you that know me, are nodding furiously right now. I always default to worst case scenario and I was happily met with a surprise. I LOST 5.4lbs LAST WEEK! I must have stepped on and off that scale another 6 or 7 times because of course the scale was lying to me. Then I just decided to accept and celebrate it! I am slowly getting over the mental hurtle of “I have to do it PERFECTLY for it to count.” Perfectionism is one of my biggest enemies and something I struggle with daily. Slowly, by surly.
This week my goal is to simply do better than last week. Better eating habits, no lost battles with a bag of snapcrisps. I am going to continue to improve my water intake because quite frankly….although it is better I still have some work to do. I was doing awesome in the exercise department for the first half of the week, but towards the end of the week I got a bit lazy with the time at the gym. I don’t want to just rely on cardio, weight training is something I would really like to focus on. My other big goal this week….sleep. I am going to make a conscious effort to get 7-8 hours a night. Last week I averaged 5-6 and it just is not working….the ramifications of this is just to great and not worth it. Water and sleep this week!
Yesterday was another evening for growth and opportunity!
I was provided with the last minute gift of attending the Canucks game last night, so it was a mad dash home to change, grab the bestie and off to the arena! On the way to the arena, my tummy was grumbling and I had a minor panic attack about my options for food at the arena. As we made our way to the seats the bestie spot a little cart that was sporting some healthier options and I took a sigh of relief. I was a bit shocked to see the cart with healthier options. She was tucked away in the corner and with every other food window open, with a sizeable lineup, she was quite delighted when we walked up. I still went over a bit, but it was no where near as bad as it could have been! Yesterday was a far better day in the eating department vs the day before. I have to keep reminding myself that life happens and there are choices to be made. It isn’t about perfection, but progress.
Naturally the time at the gym was quickly thrown out the window, but I was still determined to get my 10K steps in and I did!
It is 5am on Friday morning as I type this before dashing out the door to go visit a client in Richmond. In my history of personal 30 day challenges, the first week has always been the easiest. The one time during the challenge that I don’t have to worry about commitment, dedication or the mental struggles….not so much this time around. This time around it has been the polar opposite. I woke up completely inspired by starting this challenge with the mindset of I am going to nail the first week, but this week….I am being tested left, right and centre. I am happy that I have not caved, given up or thrown in the towel. Perhaps that is the lesson for me right now….progress, not perfection. I did not gain this weight overnight and I will not lose it in the first week. As long as everything is going in the right direction and I plan success will be mine!