Flab-u-less: Day 3….

PhotoGrid_1445528841351_resizedIf I am honest I don’t even wanna write this post today! I am going to chalk day 3 up to one of frustration and growth.

Eating was not my friend yesterday. I will acknowledge that I didn’t binge eat or eat anything particularly unhealthy, but I did not plan accordingly. I first new I was going to go way over my food at lunch, when I decided to eat one of my favorite salads. Normally I through out the dressing they provide and use my own, but I forgot that in the fridge at home…so I had to use the dressing inside. I did not use the whole package, but….by the time I got home from the gym I had almost no calories left and I was STARVING, so I had a protein shake and then lost a battle with a bag of those Snapea Crisps things….I was honest and plunked everything into MyFitnessPal, but…“when you fail to plan, you plan to fail” was my theme for yesterday.

Exercise….I was like a 2 year old who’s blankie had been taken away. At least….that is what the guy who works at the gym I go to, said I looked like when I was on the elliptical yesterday. My day was stupid busy yesterday, so I didn’t get a real lunch, so I didn’t have time to look over some exercises, so when I arrived I was tired, didn’t want to work out, but I said I would. I got finished with the elliptical and popped over to the treadmill, but after 10mins I wanted to go home! So I got in 45 minutes at the gym. My heart was not in it, but I got it done.

What did I learn from yesterday? The biggest relationship I need to focus on at the moment, is the one between my word and me. I went when I didn’t want to. I could have easily just said “Screw the day” when I knew I was going to go over my calories, but I didn’t. I am a huge fan of Chris & Heidi Powell, they do that TV Show Extreme Weight Loss and the #1 on thing they tell everyone is the relationship between yourself and your word to yourself is the most important thing when building the foundation of to a healthy life. I will skip a workout, go out for dinner if someone asks doesn’t matter I will throw out my “me time” if someone asks and I need to get better at not.

Today I have planned WAY BETTER. I had some tv shows loaded onto my tablet and some exercises planned out. Bring on Day 4!

No More Shame…

Excuse the chipped nail polish on the toes ;)

Excuse the chipped nail polish on the toes 😉

This is one of those posts that I have written, deleted, re-written, edited about 100 times since Sunday (you will see the date stamp in the photo). I am making a request as you read this post. Do not shame me, keep your opinions to yourself and if you have that little voice inside your head shouting opinions and comments, please keep them inside your head. Don’t be a troll…move along.

I have carried a lot of shame and attachment around the number that I weigh. There is 2 people in the universe that know “roughly” what my number is, but not the exact number. One of my favorite TV shows premiered last night for it’s 5th season, Extreme Weight Loss. I love this show for a mountain of reasons and if you don’t watch it, start. To start the journey they always weigh in, no shirts and shorts, sports bra only for the ladies. This weigh in takes place in front of their friends, family or a crowd of some sort. This has always made me uncomfortable and last night I was very present to the shame about my number and I drew a line in the sand and decided no more!

336. When you look at me do you see the number 336? No? Well, that’s how much I weigh. The reason why I want you to all see that number is because I want you all to see that that number no longer has a hold on me. I know that I have caused this number and all the struggles that it has brought. I am strong and will be victorious over this number. I am not a number on a scale. I am a woman, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a best friend and a fighter!

Want to see more numbers?

Chest: 47” / Waist: 49” / Hips: 60” (thank you genetics) / R. Thigh: 34” / R. Calf: 19 ¾”

They are just numbers. They no longer define who I am, where I am going or what I am capable of. If you don’t like my numbers, that is fine, you have your own set of numbers, look at those ones instead.

I will no longer live inside of shame. I am going to take pride in my body and all that it is capable of. I am going to embrace my body of the glory and wonder that it has allowed me to experience. Now I am going to treat it with respect and start loving it the way it deserves to be loved.