For the Love Of…..

Courtesy of Google Images

Courtesy of Google Images

I have discovered something about myself that I was almost certain I was never going to say. I love to run. Turns out, I am a runner. I have “complete a 5k” on my bucket list because, at the time, it seemed like a good goal for someone wanting to lose weight and get healthy, but over the months it has turned into a different reason.  There is something about running that I can’t quite put my finger on.

Running and I got off to a rough start. I remember when Emilia first made me run I laughed and knew I wasn’t going to last very long. I really struggled with breathing at the beginning and it took a conversation with my awesome doctor to figure out that I was trying to breathe in and out with each stride which was almost causing me to hyperventilate so the goal became to inhale on one stride and exhale over 2-3 strides and guess what, running become easier.

I feel like I am accomplishing something when I am running. I don’t know quite what it is, but I feel good. I feel like no one can take it away from me, it belongs to me and only me. I can feel myself as a skinner woman. I can feel the fit of my clothes changing. I can feel the difference in my body. I can feel the changes happening. I can also feel my need to put the brakes on and make it all stop. I have discovered a real love of running. I feel like I am really accomplishing something and no one can take it away from me because it is mine. I can do this, I can do this journey by continuing to believe in myself and love myself beyond all my excuses. LET’S GO RUNNING!!!!

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A Number…

"I live my life a quarter mile at a time"....ahhh Vin Diesel I love you right now.

“I live my life a quarter mile at a time”….ahhh Vin Diesel I love you right now.

It’s hard sometimes being on this journey. Lately a lot of people have been telling me I look amazing, slimming down but every time I step on the scale the number is reflecting a different story. I have to keep reminding myself that muscle weighs more than fat and that the changes I am making are not about the numbers, they are about the difference in me and my life.

My chiropractor can’t believe the difference from when I first started seeing her to know. She is mainly a sport therapist but took me on out of a desperate state I was in almost 2 years ago. She said she had a difficult time finding the muscles before and now there is no problem. Muscles are stronger, bigger and she says I have “athlete problems”. I’M SORRY!?!?!? Athlete problems…took me a minute to digest this comment. The discomfort and issues I see her for are the exact same ones she treats on some of her fittest professional athlete clients. I see her for relief from pain in working out, I no longer see her for relief from pain in daily functioning.

Taren and Emilia, my trainers, bless them. They have this way of tell you exactly what you need to hear, right when you DON’T want to hear it, but it is what you need to hear. The other day I was told that I was going to run a quarter mile. I looked at Emilia laughed and said, yeah right. She wasn’t having any part of it and away we went. Away went the little voice in my head, as the breathing got harder and the legs started to hurt, and not long after came Emilia’s voice with the words of encouragement and the reminder to breathe. I DID IT! Then, 3 days later we were training outdoors in the sun and a track I haven’t been able to lap, running…I lapped it 3 times without stopping. I was walking home after and I got a little teary eyed, cause I freakin did it! I ran a quarter mile and I ran that track 3 times! Now every time I pout or complain about sore muscles Emilia smiles and says “Athlete problems.”

I made this track my b*!ch!

I made this track my b*!ch!

I know I am not doing this journey perfectly, or the right way, but I am doing it on my terms and if “athlete problems” are part of this journey well then let’s go. What is a number anyways.